Words that I hate

There are three words in the English language that I have grown to hate. Every time I hear them, my skin crawls. When I see these words formulate one someone’s lips I have a strong urge to pimp slap them in their face. Coincidentally, they are all related to the corporate world.

1. Ping
Why people choose to use this word, I do not know. The word “ping” means nothing to me. When people say, “ping me” I just wonder how I am suppose to do that? With a phone? A computer? I looked it up on Wikipedia and it says “The term 'ping' is commonly used to indicate an effectively content-less message”. Ok so if it is “content-less”, why are you contacting me? The problem is people constantly misuse this word.  What they really mean instead of “ping” is “get in touch with”. If you need me feel free to call me, email me, Facebook me, text me, even tweet me, but for the love of God don’t mother effing ping me. You are just wasting my time with your “content-less” messages.

2. Swamped
I know this is a random word to hate, but it always seems to be coming out of people’s mouths who are the complete opposite. “Oh my God, I have sooooo much work to do today. I am just swamped.” Oh really? Then how do you have 20-minutes to stop by my desk and waste your time and mine complaining about how much work you have to do?

3. Bandwidth
This word really gets under my skin. The only time it is acceptable is when it's used to talk about the internet. Alternative acceptable synonyms are “capacity” and “availability”. Using the word “bandwidth” just makes you sound like a Class A douche bag.

And with that, my Sunday is over. Tomorrow will be just another Monday where swamped people will ping me all day to check my bandwidth. Ass clowns.