Ahhh!!! They are going to shoot us!

This past weekend I went down to San Luis Obispo with Party Kel to celebrate our friend Dede’s birthday. Dede is a close friend of Party Kel’s from college and they were in the same sorority.

Party Kel and I left the Bay Area in the late afternoon and after our 4.5 hour drive in bumper-to-bumper traffic, we finally arrived in SLO and pulled up to the oh-so-classy La Cuesta Motor Inn.

After we checked in, we met Dede and her 9 friends out for a sushi dinner. After the 5 rounds of sake bombs were downed and the last of the sashimi was consumed, the restaurant filled with a techno-Japanese version of the birthday song. The guy on the track sounded like he was saying, “Happy birrsday to you. Happy birrsday to you.” The restaurant owner and waiters came out with a dessert for Dede. The owner then proceeded to yell in Dede’s ear and dance on the chair shouting the song. She clearly knew how to party.

Chair dancing to "Happy Birrsday"

The next morning we all woke up at 8:00am and drove to Avila Beach for Beerfest. It was a gorgeous day. When we arrived we received a 4oz. beer mug and a wrist band with 13 tastings. “13 tastings!” we thought. “This is unacceptable.” Right then and there we decided to try to avoid giving anyone a tasting ticket all day. Some booths were easier than others. My strategy was basically to walk up to the counter, ask for a glass of beer, and do an immediate 180 the second I got my fingers around the glass. I hoped I’d be fast enough that they wouldn’t have a chance to grab a ticket from me. I did pretty well, only giving up 1 ticket, but Party Kel managed to not give up a single ticket all day. Impressive stuff. Once we grabbed a couple of the girls from trying to tip over a port-a-potty in retaliation for an early attack, we decided to leave.

Beerfest cheers

That afternoon we recuperated by hijacking someone’s hired limo to take us back to SLO, devouring a large amount of Firestone grub, and then heading back to the hotel for a nap. On the walk back, Alison (Dede’s sister) spotted a billboard and ran over to it. It was a picture of an old retired couple and she wanted to get a photo with it to show the people she works with. She then proceeded to (unsuccessfully) try to climb up the billboard. When Dede yelled at her to get down before she got arrested, she screamed back, “What is it illegal to have fun in public?”

Alison trying to climb the billboard

At dinner that night, Dede and Party Kel’s sorority sister Chelsea started asking Alison about a text message she had sent earlier that day.

Stop dreaming on me in a portal potty.

“Alison, despite the fact that the text makes no sense…what is a portal potty?”
“You know, like one of those portable toilets today at Beerfest.”
“It’s called a port-a-potty.”
“Oh I thought it was portal.”
Tina then chimed in, “Opps I told her it was portal.”

Party Kel and I proceeded to do impressions of the noise a space traveling toilet would sounds like. Whenever someone would head to the restroom, we’d say things like “watch out for those portal potties. You may end up in the year 1980. Wooooooo.”

After having a relatively low key evening the night before we assembled Team Blackout to make sure Saturday night was crazier than ever. First, we headed back to the car, since Alison had wisely brought along a bottle of vodka. We jammed all 11 girls inside the Escalade and started taking shots. I made sure to let Dede know she couldn’t have the keys in the ignition or else she could be arrested. Just in case a cop drove by, we didn’t want him to think she was trying to drive. (We were just drinking in the car obviously. Doesn’t everyone do that?) While keeping an eye out for cops, we sat there talking and drinking when all of the sudden someone yelled, “OH MY GOD, THERE’S A CAR NEXT TO US!!!” Dede and I turn quickly and screamed because we were shocked to see guys’ faces right outside our window. This resulted in everyone else in the car screaming bloody murder. Party Kel yells, “AHHH!!! THEY ARE GOING TO SHOOT US!” As we all recovered from the shock, we started breaking out in hysterical laughter. These poor guys were just trying to parallel park and we basically accused them of a trying to kill us. “But that is how they do it in drive by shootings,” Party Kel said when I managed to stop laughing/crying long enough to ask her why she yelled.

Needless to say, Team Blackout succeeded and it was an amazing night. I love getting out of town for a few days and I really enjoyed meeting new friends! I hope you had a great Memorial Day weekend as well!