This is why you shouldn't lie

My apartment is a typical San Francisco apartment that has a mail slot instead of a box, which means you can’t receive any package of any sort ever. It’s pretty frustrating, but luckily for me, my office has its own mail room and they don’t mind if personal packages are delivered there.

Recently I won “Fourth of Firefly” contest run by this alcohol company I love, Firefly Vodka. They make this really delicious Sweet Tea vodka that is pretty popular in the south, but not well known in California. The prize for winning the contest was a party pack of Firefly supplies. They were going to ship me shirts, stickers, and a variety of drink ware. I was pretty pumped. As a part of wining the contest a representative from Firefly emailed me to ask if I could take pictures of myself on the 4th of July, celebrating with my friends in the gear. My answer was “duh, of course”. Like I need an excuse to have pictures of myself on a website. I’d do anything for fame.

Two days ago I came home from work to find a salmon colored slip under my door. Balls! I must have accidentally given them my home address when I filled out the contest form. Since the post office near my house closes at 5:30pm, (God knows why they are only open during hours where normal people are at work) I would have to leave my job a few minutes early to pick it up.

Yesterday I worked through lunch so at 4:40pm I could sprint out of the office to catch the earlier 4:45pm shuttle. 4:45pm rolls around and no bus. 4:50pm, 4:55pm, nothing. I quickly look at the schedule on my phone and realize I had read it incorrectly and the next bus wouldn’t come until 5:00m aka. my normal bus time.

That’s when I start panicking. This was my one and only shot to pick up this box as I was busy the rest of the week prior to my trip. If I didn’t have my Firefly supplies for the 4th then I would not only be bummed, but I would not have any pictures for the Firefly website. By the time I realized my schedule error, it was too late to catch a different bus and we all know how I feel about taxis.

I anxiously board the shuttle at 5:03pm and decide that when I get to my car, I was just going to have to haul ass to the post office. I knew I didn’t have enough time to make it before it closed, but I had to try. Once my shuttle arrived in the Presidio, I sprint to my car, jump in and screech out of the parking lot.

I drive like a man and manage to make it to the post office by 5:35pm. I park the car, hit the emergency lights and run to the door. It’s locked. I start knocking on the door, but no one is answering and I can’t see anyone inside. I quickly look up and dial the number for the post office and someone answers.

Me: “Hi is this the post office on Geary and Parker?”
Mailman: “Yes it is. How may I help you?”
Me: “I am right outside and I really need to pick up a package.”
Mailman: “We are closed.”
Me: “I know but this is a really important package.”
Mailman: “What is it?”
Me: “Ummm…it’s a box…from a client. They accidentally sent it to my home address instead of my work address and I need it for work tomorrow. If I don’t have it this could cost me my job” (I say all of this on the brink of fake tears)
Mailman: “Ok, come around the side and I will get it for you.”

At this point I am feeling amazing. I had to lie, yes, but I was getting what I wanted. I walk around the side of the post office and he brings me my package. To my surprise, it’s a tiny little container and not the large box I was expecting. On the side it says “Free samples of Crystal Light”. I look up at the man, smile and laugh, red in the face, and then proceed to thank him and leave. He clearly had caught me in a lie and he knew it.

Fourth of Firefly party pack

I ended up receiving my “Fourth of Firefly” package today in the mail. I honestly feel very badly about lying and I suppose the fact that it was the wrong package was my karma. I plan on giving that man a very nice Yelp review and hope that I never have a reason to go back to that post office again.