My attempt to stop swearing: A half fail

After moving back home after college in 2007 I realized I had picked up the pretty nasty habit of swearing constantly. I didn’t even realize it until I started dropping f-bombs in front of my parents. I decided then and there that I should probably try to stop cursing. The only problem with this goal is that it is really difficult to properly verbalize what you are trying to communicate without swears. I came to the realization that it was much easier to replace swear words with other words than to stop using them completely.

My first half fail accomplishment is my tendency to say “Oh balls!” I call it a half fail, because while “balls” isn’t officially a swear word, it’s basically like saying “Oh testicles!” or “Oh nut sack!” It’s not 100% ok, but still technically not a swear word.

My second half-fail of word replacement is “ding-dong”. Ding-dong is used in replacement of idiot, dumbass or retard. The only problem with ding-dong is that basically everyone thinks you are weird for using it. I cannot get Party Kel to stop laughing at me every time I say it.

I’ll consider “Oh balls!” and “ding-dong” a small victory for now. I am trying to find a replacement for a few more words so until then, watch your asses bitches!