Google proves people are really messed up

I use the Google search engine for everything. I absolutely love how it is designed to start pulling up common searches when you begin to enter a word or a sentence. This is an amazing tool to not only save you time, but help you narrow down your searches quickly. Though I am sure this is how people normally use Google, it can also be used to expose human psyche. I chose to do a little experience called “What people are really thinking.” How did I do this, you ask? I started typing in some common questions and sentences to find what people really doing on the internet. Here are some of the most bizarre results I found for what people are searching on Google.

A very common search on Google would be something like “Who is…” So who do people search for on Google? World leaders? No. Company’s CEOs? Not really. The world needs to know “Who is Justin Bieber dating?”

If you are doing a symptom search, you might start out with “Why am I…” Though most of the common results are pretty standard, a couple stand out to me. “Why am I here?” and “Why am I so ugly”. These are very interesting questions, and while they do share some similar letters Google ≠ God.

The next search seems pretty harmless as well. “Do I have...” Two common searches pull up “Do I have herpes” and “Do I have a warrant for my arrest”. I really hope these are not overlapping users, because if so, they have some major problems in their hands…and apparently their genitals.

The next one should be a little bit cheerier. “I like…” Some common things pull up like the lyrics to “Baby got back”. Apparently a lot of people also like turtles. “I like to learn”. That is sweet. But wait, what the heck is this “I like to fork myself.” I honestly don’t even know how one does that.

Now I thought I’d investigate what people thing about cuisine. “I like to eat…” Pizza maybe? Italian food? NO! People like to eat “poop”, “my skin”, and “cake while excruciating”. WHAT. THE. FUCK.

And what do people like to drink? “My own pee”, “blood”, and “my wife’s milk”. Gross people.

The next few are some relationship insights. Here is what women and men search for to learn about the opposite sex. Nothing here is too ridiculous. Except maybe “who do girls smell like fish” and “why do guys like to tickle girls". I really didn’t know they did.

The next one is pretty sweet “When will she…” “ Call back” (aww!). “Say I love you” (too cute!). “Die” (awkward). Hope you guys don’t share computers!

Finally, here are a few philosophical ones to end my research. “When will I…” Die. Sorry folks, Google does not know but maybe they know the answer to this…

“The world will end in…” Oh thanks God! There are so many different answers, that I think we will all be ok….At least until the year 2060.